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ELORA - It's tough knowing your son was murdered
when he was only 10. It's tougher knowing his
killers, ages 11 and 12, will never be charged -
even though police know who was responsible that
fatal day.
It is probably even tougher for Mike Neuts to
get up in front of large audiences and speak
about the tragedy - but it's something he takes
on willingly.
Neuts has worked 28 years for the International
Truck and Engine Corporation, and his avocation
there was the local union and social issues
"I never envisioned being a public speaker,"
Neuts said in an interview before his final talk
to Centre Wellington elementary school students
about bullying. His talks are part of the Centre
Wellington Community Oriented Policing
committee's anti-bullying campaign that started
just over a month ago.
"People talk to me about courage and strength.
It's humbling," he said. "The feedback I'm
getting is overwhelming."
Neuts said his public speaking "started
innocently" but now he and his wife, Brenda,
have done numerous talks. He estimates he has
talked to over 35,000 school children, and that
includes 1,000 in Centre Wellington over the
past couple of weeks.
"It comes from the heart," he said. "I sometimes
believe there's an angel on my shoulder."
On Feb. 6, 1998, Neuts received a call at work
that something had happened at school, and he
told grade 5 to 8 students at Elora Junior that
when he heard that message a shock ran through
him that he has never felt before or since. He
knew a disaster was in the making. He was
correct.
Today, he speaks to school kids much like his
10-year-old son, about bullying problems,
standing up for each other, and understanding
that to be different is not wrong, but the point
out differences in other is wrong.
What the students hear, though, is anything but
angelic.
Myles Neuts was an artistic boy, and the year
before his death, he made one of those childish
bets about a poster competition for the Legion
with a boy who was a year older. The bet was for
"10 bucks" and Myles' poster was a winner.
From then on, when ever he saw the other youth,
he would joke about the $10 that was never paid.
It's a situation that is played out on hundreds
of school yards across the nation, with no
expectation of paying up, or being paid off.
But, that incident had life-altering
consequences for Myles, for the Neuts family,
and for the two boys and their families.
Since the inquest that ended more than two years
after Myles Neuts' death, Mike Neuts is speaking
out to young people, bringing his anti bullying
message to people, and hoping he can create
empathy in youngsters.
The reason is simple.
"The first time Myles was bullied, he died from
it."
* * *
Mike Neuts is also working to change media
perception of children, and said how media
portray youth is a big part of children's self
esteem. He noted that the Chatham Daily News
recently published a front page that had a
headline about a teen that could face a life
sentence.
They balanced that article with two others on
the same front page, about children working for
the food bank and another who was the top
fundraiser for the Cancer Society in
Chatham-Kent.
Neuts passed around a couple of photographs of
Myles when he made his presentation. He said the
pictures were taken by the teacher about a
half-hour prior to that fatal lunch hour.
When Neuts arrived from work at the school, he
found a police officer doing cardio-pulmonary
resuscitation on him. Myles had been hung on a
coat hook.
He was taken to the local hospital and airlifted
to London. When his dad returned to the school
shortly after, it was taped off as a crime
scene. Mike Neuts remembers that one police
officer told him it would not take long to find
out what had happened because they were "dealing
with children.."
Police eventually interviewed every child in the
school, all staff, and many others.
What it came down to was a 12-year-old friend of
the bet loser telling the boy that he would put
an end to the request for the $10 to be paid.
What actually happened in those few minutes in
the cloakroom has never been revealed, but
police tested all the material Myles was wearing
around his neck that day and it was strong
enough to support his weight - and kill him.
Myles was physically brain dead, and, a few days
after he was placed in hospital, his parents
gave their permission to unplug the life
support.
"In 20 minutes, he died in my arms," Neuts told
the assembly.
Police, in their investigation, trashed Myles'
room, checking the computer, all his writings,
and going through all his clothing and papers in
his desk.
Neuts said police heard from some students that
the 12-year-old had told them, "Come and look at
the dummy" hanging in the cloakroom.
Mike Neuts said he and Brenda were talked into
initiating a lawsuit that was, in retrospect, a
mistake. It shut down the investigation, and the
12-year-old's father told police they could no
longer question him. That was the last time they
ever talked to him.
Neuts said he further learned that it would cost
$10,000 a week, at rates the lawyer said were
minimal, just to have representation at the
inquest into Myles' death. Instead, the family
represented itself and learned some interesting
information.
The 12-year-old's mother was dead. His father
was a black belt in the marshal arts. Police
found 300 weapons in the family's home,
including an AK 47 assault rifle, all kinds of
security alarms, and a workout centre in the
family basement.
Today, Mike Neuts says he would someday like to
sit down and talk to the 11-year-old involved in
Myles' death, but he wants nothing to do with
that 12-year-old.
Instead, he spends his time spreading
anti-bullying messages and working with at-risk
youths.
He asked students if they had ever been bullied,
and a sea of arms went up. He asked if they had
ever bullied someone, including a younger
brother and sister and a disturbing number of
hands were raised again.
Neuts said bullying is not cool, and picking on
people because they are different is "sheer
stupidity."
He asked students how many had seen the movie,
Home Alone, and if they are aware that many of
the things that happened in that movie are fake.
He cited the hero dropping bricks on the heads
of the burglars, and setting the hair of one of
them on fire as another instance that was used
as comedy in the film, but is really life
threatening.
He said there have been commercials about
football players hanging a nerdy type on a coat
hook, and, in another instance in Sports
Illustrated, about a kid hanging by his
underwear. He does not find them the least bit
amusing.
Neuts said that people who threaten, "Don't tell
anyone" are bullies of the worst kind.
He said bullying can happen to anyone. In his
travels, he has met top athletes. He said one
girl was bullied all through high school by
other girls because of her athletic ability,
and, to this day, has only one girlfriend
because of the trauma that caused her.
"Stand up for yourself," he told the students,
and added that if they are bystanders to
bullying, they are part of the problem and
probably encouraging the bullying behaviour.
"Bystanders reinforce the bully's intention to
embarrass," he said.
Neuts said bullying is a problem right across
Canada. Since 1997, there have been five deaths
linked to bullying incidents. The oldest was 17.
He also pointed out that people being bullied
are also at risk of striking back, and noted at
Columbine high school in the United States two
bullied youths killed over 20 people.
He said in Taber Alberta, a bullied youth shot
several people, and one of the victims had never
bullied anyone, but was in the wrong place at
the wrong time - and died.
Neuts said singer and songwriter Peter Yarrow,
of Peter, Paul, and Mary fame, told him a few
years ago that up to 20,000 children a day stay
home from school in the United States because
they are afraid. He said he has heard from
others since then that the numbers have
increased to 100,000 absent students per day due
to fear.
He played Yarrow's song, "Don't Laugh at Me" for
the students, and was gratified to find many of
them singing along.
Neuts told the students that it would be a very
dull world if everyone was the same height, had
the same features, the same hair colour, and the
same talents.
"You are all unique," he said. "That makes the
world exciting. Why would you pick on someone
not like you?"
During the question period, Neuts admitted to
students that he never found out what really
happened to Myles that day. He added, "I never
received an apology."
He said both boys were kicked out of school, and
he and Brenda pulled their son, Dane, from that
school board's jurisdiction.
Oddly enough, Mike Neuts is now a school trustee
on the board that oversees the school where
Myles died.
Neuts said he believes in young people; he wants
to stop bullying in schools; and he wants to
teach students empathy, and to think "before you
do things."
He concluded, "Bullies can be changed."
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